A large part of being successful is realizing what you can control and what you can’t. There will always be annoying bosses and pushy co-workers, and a never ending list of deadlines. Even if you are a solopeneur (self employed) there will be parts of your career that are frustrating. The trick for thriving in any environment is learning to not take anything personally. You may not be able control what happens, but you can choose how to handle it.
I have worked with some clients who are people pleasers and will say or do anything to make their co-workers happy. Even if they are presented with requests that are unappealing and may be way out of their comfort zone, they will still say yes for fear of disappointing someone. They wind up smiling on the outside and boiling with anger on the inside. It doesn’t sound like a good formula for success right?
Other clients I have worked with feel misunderstood and mistreated at the workplace. They don’t feel they get the respect they deserve and they wonder why they can’t get others on board with their ideas. Like the people pleasers, they are taking every interaction at the office personally, making it mean something about who they are as a person. Their sense of self worth is wrapped up in the responses they get from others. This is a dangerous path because when we look to others, not ourselves for validation, we are often left feeling disappointed and in the end defeated.
In order to be truly confident and effective in the workplace it is crucial that we let go of trying to control every circumstance. The thing you can control is your own clarity. Being successful is a result of being very clear; being clear about your objective, mission, and the expectations of the people around you. It doesn’t mean you have to be forceful.
To be clear you need to:
- Understand who you are and how you work best.
- You need to realize the value you bring to your work situation.
- You need to set boundaries around your work and your time.
When you are clear there is less confusion and miscommunication. People know what to expect and you can work as a team based on mutual respect. Even if everyone is not on board, you’ll understand that it’s never personal.