I was at a get together with a group of women I know, it was a fun time with lots of laughing and food.
I was talking to a woman I adore about her kids. She was sharing that when it come to her kids (she has 5 of them), her philosophy is figure it out yourself. This was in reference to her 4 year old.
Let me first say I am not here to mommy bash, but probably the last thing a 4 year old can do is figure out a problem with her friend or sibling by herself. By nature, [...]
Are you feeling stressed? Who hasn’t?
It’s a natural part of life.
Where it becomes unnatural is when we pull our hair out in frustration trying to make things not stressful.
I did that very thing for so many years.
It went like this:
I immediately tried to fix it. By fix it I mean dumped a million more things on my plate in an effort to “improve” myself or my situation.
And guess what that lead to?
More pressure, more stress, and an unhappy body.
I lived in a stress cycle. I was addicted the stress. I didn’t know there was another way.
Then I discovered this [...]
The more I go onto social media lately, the more stressed I feel.
I am hearing this over and over again from clients, friends, and I even think it at times myself.
I have been through a lot these last few years.
I’ve learned a lot, but seriously I have been in total life upheaval a few different times in a short period of time, not to mention some pretty serious medical issues along with the life upheaval.
Basically I have walked through the fire a dozen times now, made it through and was thinking lately that I should share what I’ve learned.
I know [...]
I spent a lifetime going against my nature.
I’ve also been the quiet yet strongly independent type.
I knew my true nature but spent a lot of time wondering what was “wrong” with me. I wanted to live my life my way and think the way I wanted to think, but I also wanted people to like me. I wouldn’t admit that I needed acknowledgment or support though.
Do you see the disconnect?
I wasn’t living in my true nature. I was forcing myself to be what I was not because I thought I needed the security of acceptance.
I forced myself in relationships, friendships [...]
Even a strongly independent woman like myself has to admit that, I too, seek to be included.
It’s actually a very natural, instinctual state of being.
The problem is that being included doesn’t feel natural or very easy for some of us.
It could be our family of origin had patterns that made us feel alienated or it could be a product of a society that feeds on conflict (as we see in social media).
Whatever the cause is, not being included can have very detrimental affects on your well being.
How can we find inclusion?
It comes when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. When [...]
I used to dread weekends. I know that sounds really weird
Let me explain.
I had a great life. A good job, hard working husband and a beautiful home.
Though I had all those great things in my life, my life was completely empty.
There were social events with people who judged and criticized, lots of errands and tv shows that had to be watched.
My life was void of any real connection with people. People were around me, but there was no real authenticity.
A lot of what was going on had to do directly with me, not other people. I was afraid [...]
How do you define courage?
Is it something only “strong” people do?
Do you use what you think is courage but don’t get the results you want?
Courage is something only YOU can define.
When you try to measure yourself by someone else’s definition of courage you will always fall short.
If you want to start on the courage path, start with something small.
What is one thing you’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do? Break it down in very small bits. Start at the first bit and keep moving forward.
The big jumps you see others taking usually come from lots of small [...]
How to be happy, get happy now, change your life through positive thinking,,,
the underlying message here is you are doing it wrong. Change it and you’ll feel better.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is we are human and we are going to feel lots of stuff.
Most of it probably won’t be good.
Despite of this you can still feel GOOD!!!
Stop fighting the thoughts, give them alternatives instead.
Example: “I don’t know why they don’t talk to me anymore, what’s wrong with me.”
Alternative: People can think and do whatever they want with their lives and it has nothing to do with [...]
What is the difference between a trigger and an intuitive hit?
I used to be told I was being triggered by things people said. But that wasn’t the truth, the truth was I was getting an intuitive hit about a person or a situation that wasn’t right for me.
It’s easy for someone to reference psychological theory to you and tell you that you are being triggered by your attachment to something.
Listen to your body.
The important thing to recognize is the art of discernment. Knowing how to discern what is coming from someone’s personal agenda or belief system and what is not.
Were you the good child?
Were you always trying to do the “right” thing so an parent (who was probably unstable emotionally) didn’t get upset?
Did you bully yourself into perfection? You didn’t need any bullies because you were always you worst self critic.
You probably isolated yourself a lot too, because it was easier than experiencing the tension that you felt from others. You may have been a tad bit shy, but most of your reserved nature came from uncertainty of your environment.
All this stuffed up emotion, is hurting you, even now as an adult.
It’s time to stop.
You have the right to [...]