Tagged: perfectionism

Get Rid Of Anxiety By Understanding Your Natural Leadership Style

Get Rid Of Anxiety By Understanding Your Natural Leadership Style

I spent a lifetime going against my nature.

I’ve also been the quiet yet strongly independent type.

I knew my true nature but spent a lot of time wondering what was “wrong” with me. I wanted to live my life my way and think the way I wanted to think, but I also wanted people to like me. I wouldn’t admit that I needed acknowledgment or support though.

Do you see the disconnect?

I wasn’t living in my true nature. I was forcing myself to be what I was not because I thought I needed the security of acceptance.

I forced myself in relationships, friendships [...]

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Don’t Ever Force Yourself To Be Happy

Don’t Ever Force Yourself To Be Happy

How to be happy, get happy now, change your life through positive thinking,,,

the underlying message here is you are doing it wrong. Change it and you’ll feel better.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is we are human and we are going to feel lots of stuff.

Most of it probably won’t be good.

Despite of this you can still feel GOOD!!!

Stop fighting the thoughts, give them alternatives instead.

Example: “I don’t know why they don’t talk to me anymore, what’s wrong with me.”

Alternative: People can think and do whatever they want with their lives and it has nothing to do with [...]

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Stop Trying To Please Dysfunctional People

Stop Trying To Please Dysfunctional People

Were you the good child?

Were you always trying to do the “right” thing so an parent (who was probably unstable emotionally) didn’t get upset?

Did you bully yourself into perfection? You didn’t need any bullies because you were always you worst self critic.

You probably isolated yourself a lot too, because it was easier than experiencing the tension that you felt from others. You may have been a tad bit shy, but most of your reserved nature came from uncertainty of your environment.

All this stuffed up emotion, is hurting you, even now as an adult.

It’s time to stop.

You have the right to [...]

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She Said She Was Broken

She Said She Was Broken

One of my clients told me recently that she felt she was broken at one point in her past.

It struck me how many of us think that we’re broken… we label ourselves as being somehow bad.

We’re too emotional, too weak or just not meeting our potential.

Her words brought me back to a time when I thought I was broken. Virtually everything in my life fell away all at once. I didn’t really even have time to think about it or process what was happening, I had to just keep moving on.

Months later I found myself at a doctors office and [...]

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When You Find Yourself Trying to Fix Someone Else’s Anger

When You Find Yourself Trying to Fix Someone Else’s Anger

When you find yourself constantly trying to fix someone else’s anger problem, please remind yourself of this:

Your anger is not my problem.

For as long as I can remember I have had a highly attuned sense to people’s emotions. Between family and friends I have been around more than a fair share of angry people. What I didn’t realize is that I was part of the problem.

I tried to fix their anger because it made me uncomfortable. This fixing behavior caused me boat loads of grief, as I constantly searched for ways to avoid being uncomfortable around somebody else’s anger.

No more. [...]

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Why Are You Hiding?

Why Are You Hiding?


I’ve been hiding most of my life.

I hid behind my marriage and perfect looking life. I hid by my ability to make sure I always said the right thing. I hid by not engaging in conflict when it was necessary because I didn’t want to look like the bad girl.

I hid behind books, isolation and other activities that would keep me away from people.

I never asked for help.

And honestly nobody thought I ever needed it.

I was so damn scared of being vulnerable I just pretended that I was OK all the time. My standard answer was I was “FINE”.

But [...]

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Why You Need To Leave Him Out of It

Why You Need To Leave Him Out of It

When I am talking to a new client and she says I can’t do it because he wouldn’t like it or it would hurt his feelings, I cringe.

These women aren’t unintelligent nor are they week. They are just straight out people pleasers (sometimes not even knowing it) and perfectionists who are so concerned with the feelings of others that they often self sabotage themselves.

I know this because I was one of these women.

I was always worried about hurting his feelings. If I felt something seemed to bother him, I would either try to make it better or not do [...]

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Why I Stopped Trying To Be Better

Why I Stopped Trying To Be Better

I found myself on Facebook one morning and though it has been blatantly obvious for a long time, I couldn’t help to notice the over abundance of posts about how to get better at something.

It looked like this: “How to succeed better, how to meet your goals better, how to have a better relationship, how to lose weight better”

There was so much bettering (my word) on that page, it literally made me feel sick. How much time do we spend wasting on trying to be better? In that moment I decided to take the word better out of my [...]

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IBS Relief: Are You Making Time or Excuses?

IBS Relief: Are You Making Time or Excuses?

Not having the time is the number one excuse we all use when we aren’t getting the results we want. I won’t argue with the fact that our lives are jammed packed with activity. For many of my clients it’s work, kids, house chores, and bed. If you are suffering from physical pain or IBS, that adds a whole new level of stress into your daily routine. Regardless of what you may be dealing with in your life, the difference between my clients who get what they want and the ones who don’t is time management. You can’t delete [...]

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Finding Your Something Else

Finding Your Something Else

Next month marks two years since I left my safe, secure, and tenured job. I had spent 11 long years in a job that drained me mentally and physically. To say it was not the best use of my talents is an understatement. I always knew I wanted to do something else, but I had a hard time figuring out exactly what the “else” was. I was very driven and motivated, which made it all the more difficult because I had nowhere to place the motivation. Leaving me feeling stuck externally, but with the internal adrenaline to push forward [...]

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