Were you the good child?
Were you always trying to do the “right” thing so an parent (who was probably unstable emotionally) didn’t get upset?
Did you bully yourself into perfection? You didn’t need any bullies because you were always you worst self critic.
You probably isolated yourself a lot too, because it was easier than experiencing the tension that you felt from others. You may have been a tad bit shy, but most of your reserved nature came from uncertainty of your environment.
All this stuffed up emotion, is hurting you, even now as an adult.
It’s time to stop.
You have the right to [...]
He told me I was rude…
By “he” I mean a subscriber to my list who felt obliged to tell me that I was wrong .
When I saw the words on the page, my fingers immediately went to the reply button to respond. I had to let him know exactly what I meant so he understood my point of view.
That’s when it hit me… people pleasing again.
As women were are taught not to be rude. Not to say things that would hurt other people’s feelings or be perceived as aggressive. If we are perceived that way, we have to correct ourselves [...]
Are you tired of being nice?
I know I sure am. It still feels a little mean to me when I say it, because I spent so much time trying to micromanage other people’s feelings but the truth of the matter is I got really tired of being nice.
2014 was a really transformational year for me in which I had to stop with all my nice girl stuff and create some real solid boundaries in my life. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t feel good. In fact I think it was one of the hardest things I had to do.
“I watch her with loving sadness as she dulls her shine to please others. Will this butterfly ever soar? Will she continue to pretend she can’t fly? Her greatest life awaits this decision.” – Steve Maraboli
This quote really got me thinking this week. SO many women I work with are caught up in the act of people pleasing. I used to do the same thing even though I would never have considered myself a people pleaser.
I’ve been having lots of chats with women lately and have some BIG changes I’m planning… so I want to keep this blog short [...]