We all have our own measure of what we see as successful. We may know what we want, but the hard thing is getting there. I generally encounter two types of people in my coaching practice: “the want it so bad it hurts type” or “the I want it but not enough to make the time to make it happen. Both of these groups have a difficult time getting to their destination because they both have difficulty allowing things to happen.
The “I want it so bad it hurts” folks are in a constant mode of doing and overdoing everything. They keep themselves in constant motion because they believe action, and lots of it, will get them exactly where they want to be. The problem lies in the fact they don’t allow anything to happen, they just try to make it happen. Compare it to the athlete who trains for the Olympics for years and when they get to the actual event they don’t perform well. You can see them trying to perfect each move with such intensity that it actually detracts from their performance. They know exactly what to do, but they aren’t allowing it to happen.
The “I want it, but not enough to make the time to do it” folks are not lazy; they just have a hard time prioritizing. The problem with prioritizing is that it forces you to make changes and change on any level can be uncomfortable. They know all it takes is carving some time out each week to get it done, but allowing themselves that time knowing that they may have to say no to certain activities or people, stops them in their tracks. They’d rather sit on the sidelines than be uncomfortable. They are refusing to allow themselves the time and thereby not allowing the success to happen.
How do you get to that happy medium where you are putting the time in and allowing your success to form?
- Become aware when you are overdoing something. I notice that when I start spending loads of time on something and ignore basic things like sleep or eating regularly, that I am in the controlling mode. Just recognizing it allows me to pull back and take a breath.
- Start small when changing your schedule. Try fitting in 30 minutes per week. Then build it to 60 minutes and increase slowly over time. If you allow yourself to get started, you will recognize the benefit and will end your battle with the clock.
- Carve out time where you can get away from your routine. Go to a new place even if it’s just 20 minutes. The change in perspective will allow new ideas to emerge and you will approach your endeavors with more calm and less control.