The biggest way to change your life is through the way you talk to and about yourself.

I have found there are two distinct ways we talk to ourselves. One is through emotional trigger words and the other is through power words.

Can you guess which one women focus on more?

Yep it’s the emotional trigger words.

We often debilitate ourselves with words and its emotionally draining.

It’s not that emotions are bad; in fact they are a good thing. It’s when we allow our reactions to our emotions to run wild in our mind that we get stuck. The result from that is almost 100% negative. And very harmful to our self-esteem.

An example is: you make a big mistake at work and it’s really embarrassing. You focus on how you screwed up and make it mean something about you. Then the words come: why do I always fuck things up? I am not competent and can’t seem to handle anything. This is why I can’t succeed and never will. All of this is coming from the emotions of sadness and anger.

You feel bad about your actions and anger about who you are.

When I get caught up in the emotionally triggered language and catch myself I pause.

I immediately think about all the things I have done that are the opposite. I think about when I have been success, when I have been brave, and when I’ve done really difficult things.

I create phrases like I am a bad ass because I did this and I will list the thing that I accomplished. I know I can make my goal happen because in the past I did this.

An example would be: I am a stellar employee. I’ve completed five projects with outstanding results. I got there through my dedication, devotion, and willingness to work hard to achieve a result. I’ve done it five times now I can do it again.

The positive language makes you feel powerful and dismisses the notion that you are defined by one negative circumstance. You can use this in any area of your life. Your relationships, weight-loss, and parenting etc. it just takes a small change in wording to make a change your overall approach. This constant readjustment gets the results you’re looking and removes you from that hamster wheel of criticism.