As a life coach I am fully aware of what creates outcomes in our relationships, but I still get stuck at times. This very week I did exactly what I told you to do in last week’s newsletter. I opened up about an issue I was having regarding being vulnerable with a group of female friends.
But remember, it’s important to reach out to the right people.
I didn’t just pick any group, I was very specific. I knew these ladies were okay with vulnerability and were super supportive of one another. When I aired my concern about something I wanted to share on FB, instead of just telling me it was okay to do it which would just feed my permission seeking behavior, one of the ladies challenged me.
She said this: ask yourself why you have people on your list who would judge you in such a way?
Then I realized, holy shit, it wasn’t the people on my friends list it was me!
I was judging myself harshly, predicting what others may think or say about me. I was so emotionally invested in my appearance in this one area that I didn’t even see the self sabotage I had created .
You need those kinds of friends, the ones who won’t just hold your hand and tell you it’s okay. The ones who will actively tell you what they are seeing without making you feel stupid for even sharing with them. The ones who will help you recognize your power.
That interaction had such a huge impact on me that I then went and contacted a few other people I’d been wanting to share things with but had been holding back. Suddenly it all felt so easy. My fear , anxiety, and self judgement were gone. And it freed me up to ask others about their lives, not just focus on the struggle I was having.
That is the power of friends who are the real deal. Who can love you… but give you that little kick in the pants you need in such a gentle way it leaves you wondering why you ever felt afraid of being vulnerable.
My hope and wish for you is that you have that . If you don’t have it yet, don’t despair .You can find it, actually manifest it is a better word.
Put your focus on finding it and believe . You may need support in getting the strength up to trust yourself and that’s okay too. That’s also where I can help you in learning to trust yourself so you can trust others. It’s a skill like anything else and can be learned. I believe you can do it!