Are you tired of being nice?
I know I sure am. It still feels a little mean to me when I say it, because I spent so much time trying to micromanage other people’s feelings but the truth of the matter is I got really tired of being nice.
2014 was a really transformational year for me in which I had to stop with all my nice girl stuff and create some real solid boundaries in my life. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t feel good. In fact I think it was one of the hardest things I had to do.
I have always been a skinny girl. It was never through starving myself or working out like crazy, it’s just who I am.
And yes there was a time that I gained some weight, but once I resolved the underlying issue I went back to my normal body weight, which is skinny.
I find it difficult to admit or talk about that openly because there seems to be such disdain for skinny women in our culture. Before you stop reading this because you think “What is she talking about? All the models are skinny…” and “That’s what the media pushes on [...]
I’ve been in fast motion my entire life. I wanted everything to happen now and not a second later.
If it happened fast, it was certain. Then I could relax and feel good. (Or so I thought.)
I avoided the present moment of uncertainty because it seemed scary. The not knowing created lots of anxiety. So if I could just make it happen, I could be in the future, where I deemed everything to be okay.
Sounds stressful? Well it was.
Pushing forward in fast motion is never comfortable. And it doesn’t get you the change you really want.
The real kind of soul [...]
Or in between?
I see it all the time in my clients and it’s something I’ve had to work on in myself. There’s this excitement of knowing exactly what you want and seeing it so clearly in your mind and then bam! The overwhelm hits.Then you start living in the in between. Feeling like you want your dream so badly that you can taste it, but your mind is thinking something will go wrong and it’s just way too much to handle.So you start creating excuses like you have to much on your plate to focus on it, you don’t [...]
Some days are better than others, even for a life coach.A couple of months ago I was in a funk getting frustrated doing some work on the computer that I really didn’t want to do.I tried all my usual tactics like a timer, reminding myself it was just temporary, and doing some reading.But the fact was I just really did not want to be doing that type of work, especially at that moment. It was a few days before a millennial birthday and I’d had a lot of personal things going on. As the frustration mounted and I told [...]
I’ve always been a do-it-yourselfer (not sure if that’s even word). Fiercely independent, and at times stubborn, I always wanted to do things on my own. In the past it was difficult for me to ask for help. I always believed I could do it myself. Then along my journey I realized that trying to do it alone makes it much more difficult than it needs to be.
A part of me still thinks it’s true that you can do anything yourself, but the other part knows there’s a true power and a greater outcome when you ask [...]
“Why don’t you stop being a martyr all the time and take care of yourself? Tell people what you want and ask for help.”
These words were spoken many years ago and fell on deaf ears for two reasons: First, because he was one of those crazy ex boyfriends who you look back upon and say, “why was I ever with him?”. Second because I had no idea what asking for what I needed meant.
He was right; I was acting like a martyr. I put everyone else’s [...]
It’s the week after the Fourth of July holiday in the US, and I imagine many of you had a busy week with friends and family.
The time off is invigorating, but I imagine you also might be feeling kind of a letdown.
The one thing you need to do after a holiday or something big is very simple: rest.
But it’s the one thing we avoid because we convince ourselves we need to be busy, productive and doing something social.
This became so clear to me recently when I went to the zoo, two times in one week. The first time I went [...]