“Why don’t you stop being a martyr all the time and take care of yourself? Tell people what you want and ask for help.”
These words were spoken many years ago and fell on deaf ears for two reasons: First, because he was one of those crazy ex boyfriends who you look back upon and say, “why was I ever with him?”. Second because I had no idea what asking for what I needed meant.
He was right; I was acting like a martyr. I put everyone else’s [...]
I am an emotional control freak.
It sounds funny to say but it’s true. It also feels a little scary to say, because by announcing it I am losing some of that control.
I have spent the majority of my life controlling my emotions and/or pretending they don’t even exist.
My preferred method of escape is just to avoid. I’ve had quite a number of traumatic things (as many of us have) happen to me throughout my life and when I recall them the thing that stands out the most is I just wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. I would pretend [...]
Like everyone else who saw the news on Monday afternoon, I was completely shocked at what happened at the Boston Marathon. I felt sadness for the families who lost loved ones. I also found myself feeling anxious and a bit scared. My husband was in New York City on September 11 and had to rush through the streets that were full of debris from the fallen buildings. We had friends who lost family members that day. At that time we also lived in the area of New Jersey in which the anthrax mail attack happened. I remember clearly being [...]
Resistance isn’t always bad, in fact it can teach us crucial things about what isn’t working for us. However, when it gets in the way of allowing us to accept and move forward, it needs to be released.
This came to me when I purposely avoided creating intentions and decided to let the first few weeks of January sink in and let the intentions form themselves. Then when the time was right I decided I was going to create my intention in the form of a word this year and that word is: release.
When it came to me it seemed [...]
Do you find yourself trying really hard to be perfect during the holidays?
Are you pushing yourself to feel jolly to make it a great holiday for family and friends?
If you answered yes to either of those questions take a moment and see how your body really feels about creating the perfect holiday.
Grab pen and paper and spend some time with these questions:
Are your IBS symptoms more severe this time of the year?
Write down what you are thinking and doing when you notice your symptoms increase. Notice if there’s a pattern. Understanding your body’s response can help you change [...]
When I first became a coach I worked with people who were stressed about their career. When I coach people who are dealing with a lot of stress I ask them to go into their bodies and notice where they feel stress or tension. I typically get one of two responses; either “can’t find anything”or they find aches and pains that they never knew were there. They often want to run back into their minds and discuss all of their life stresses.
I simply told them for one week try stopping once a day and notice what you are thinking [...]
Money. Money. Money. I hear a lot of talk about it from my clients.
The funny thing is it’s never about the money; there is always something else lurking in the shadows.
Don’t get me wrong; I know money is essential to live. I grew up in a working class neighborhood and attended school in the inner city of Philadelphia; everyday I got glimpses of what life is like without money.
But for the majority of us who aren’t in that situation, money is an obstacle we feel we have to overcome in order to get what we want.
Have you ever said [...]
“So it’s okay to be unhappy?” a client recently asked me. Yes, yes, and yes! I’ve been noticing that some of my clients think that it is not okay (and even down right wrong) to have any feeling that is not positive. “But I’ve been trying to follow the law of attraction so I have been telling myself to avoid all negativity and be positive”. How boring and completely unrealistic, I thought. Law of attraction is a great tool, but it requires you to be real about your emotions.
Sadly too many of us believe that we have to be [...]